If You Can’t Meditate, Try This Instead
If you’re having a hard time meditating, don’t worry — we’ve all been there.
I’ve tried everything: breathwork, transcendental meditation, chanting… the whole menu. Here’s what I’ve found.
For me, meditation is really just about calming the waters of the mind. Sometimes my mind is racing with positive energy (ideas, work, jokes, plans), and other times it’s racing with negative stuff (overthinking, stress, doubt). Either way, my goal is the same: I’m not trying to force the mind to be perfectly still. I’m just trying to get out of both of those racing states and into a place of peace.
When I can drop into that space, there’s a noticeable distance between me and whatever I’m experiencing. Traffic, for example, doesn’t trigger me as fast. The drive home might take 45 minutes instead of the usual 32, and I can just… let that be true. “Okay.” And then I move on.
It doesn’t mean frustration never comes up — I’m human. Someone honks out of nowhere, and yeah, it might jolt me. But when I’m in that calmer space, those feelings settle so much quicker. Versus when I’m stuck in a high-energy mind state (positive or negative), where every little thing feeds the fire and drags me deeper into it.
The Practice That Helped Me the Most (It’s Not Breathwork)
The thing that’s helped me the most — more than breathwork, more than trying to “quiet my mind” — is gratitude.
And I’m not talking about sitting there forcing yourself to say, “I’m grateful for the sun…” (though, don’t get me wrong, the sun is huge). I’m talking about gratitude that you can actually feel. The kind that stirs something in you. The kind that feels real.
I’m the type of person who needs to feel like something’s working. So here’s what I do:
I look for something recent. Something that actually brings up that feeling of comfort, joy, or fulfillment. Something that makes me smile just thinking about it.
Like this morning on the drive to work — I thought about how grateful I am for my silly car, Fiona. Every morning, she calls out with her funny little meows so we’ll give her and her sister their treats (Churrus). Feeding her that early morning snack fills me with this weird, beautiful sense of completion. Like, she’s good, her routine is met, and all is well.
I can’t explain it beyond that. But it gives me peace.
Try This Instead of Forcing Meditation
So here’s what I suggest if you’re struggling to meditate:
Take 5–10 minutes.
Think about the last time you felt genuinely good — even if it’s something tiny.
It could be the feeling of throwing out the trash and knowing you won’t have to deal with it for a few days.
Or rewatching your favorite movie.
Driving home with no traffic.
Eating a buttery croissant with your cappuccino.
Stepping on crunchy leaves.
Popping bubble wrap.
It doesn’t have to be deep. Gratefulness hides in the small things — it’s just waiting for you to notice.
When you find one of those moments, sit with it. Feel it. Let yourself actually experience the gratitude, not just think it. And maybe after a bit, find a second thing. Then a third.
This act of finding and feeling gratitude is a meditation all on its own. And I find that when I spend time here first, I can go deeper into other practices like breathwork or sound meditation much more easily.
But honestly? This alone might be enough.
I’ll share more about my sound meditation practice in another post.
Good luck — and if you want to explore this with me, I offer a 10-minute live affirmation meditation where I’ll share some tips and speak words of affirmation while you simply sit back and receive.
